• 0 Posts
  • 12 Comments
Joined 9 months ago
cake
Cake day: June 19th, 2025

help-circle
  • Shot answer: I am ok with it, but usually I am not ok with the people who are willing to say them. And to make sure it’s ok, the key is consent.

    Long answer: as a brown boy myself, I find that I am not offended by the slur itself. Like, the only power a word can have is the power I give it. I generally think of the band “The Slants” that is/was comprised of Asian men who made that the name to take the power of the word away. Now you don’t really hear the word.

    I think my rule of thumb is really what the dark humor is. Like, how is it said? Like, I am NOT black, but I feel comfortable making jokes about black people having smoke alarms without batteries in them. I feel comfortable making that joke with my black friend and without him. I feel ok with it because who is the joke hurting?

    I’m also not a woman, but I DON’Y feel ok with making jokes about how they can’t drive, that they should be in the kitchen, etc.

    The major difference here is that in this example women are being put down or being called “less.”

    I see it the same way with slurs. Trigger, I’m going to use slurs here, but I’ve already used one, so maybe you should have seen the trigger at the beginning. But I feel using them is important for this conversation.

    I have almost exclusively gay friends. I am not gay. We send memes back and forth calling each other “Fag” or “Faggot.” And it feels ok. What I personally do is get consent. And understand their consent can change. And I have to be ok with that.

    Now, if I’m talking to someone and they call me a “gook” or they call a black person a “nigger,” I am not ok with that. I find that they usually hide behind the label of “dark comedy” and claim they’re “just joking,” but they’re not. They’re just being bigoted. And obviously that’s not ok. And that’s what I mean that while I am ok with slurs in jokes, I think people who are willingly using them in “jokes” are not joking or are doing it in bad faith to put people down.

    Which is frustrating. I think being able to use them in jokes is helpful. Joking is how we open the door to real conversation. But I think people hide behind that and lie about their intentions to hurt people. And that’s why most of us aren’t ok with it and why consent is such a huge thing. So go out, call your gay friends “faggot,” but make sure you’re doing it while lifting them up, not putting them down.


  • Alright. So one, that’s literally America’s mantra. 2, that’s literally how you ended your last comment. 3, you’re just moving the goalpost. Instead of pretending to be arguing in good faith when this wasn’t even supposed to be an argument, just leave the comment section. What’s the point starting shit on a post that’s already a day old? If this is fun for you, maybe you should try Reddit.


  • I suppose you’re right that your country is similar or has similarities. I’m not saying that other countries don’t have problems with their own governments or money. But that’s not what I was illustrating here. What I’m illustrating is why the fair elections turn out how they do. Would I say that Russia is less corrupt or less ruled by money? No. Ukrain? Obviously not.

    What I’m illustrating is that America, despite being “the land of the free,” is very much not free. And this idea that all Americans are at fault for Donald being elected isn’t true. About 47% of its population didn’t vote for him (before you say anything I do understand how elections work) and now he is tearing our republic/democracy apart.

    And yes, it always looks from outsider perspectives that Americans are not studied or that we don’t travel or that we don’t pay attention to outside politics. We do. Believe me. So when I say we have a very different political system, I’d argue it’s true. And it’s true for every other country. No political system (or even government) is the same. And we are all just as helpless as each other. Like, in America we don’t have parties sprouting up like Russia, Germany, Australia, etc. we don’t have a dictatorship like Russia, North Korea. We don’t have three separate countries inside of one like the UK - we have over 50. It’s like if the EU was one country.

    So it doesn’t help that you’re assuming I don’t pay attention outside my boarders. We literally just invaded Venezuela and kidnapped their leader (without our congress agreeing to it, which is required by law). America has so much power in world politics. We have military bases spread across the world; it wouldn’t even require us dispatching troops from America to stage a coup in another country. And we’ve already done it or tried to do it: look at the Philippines or Cuba (Bay of Pigs as we call it) or literally anywhere in the Middle East. I would be an idiot to not pay attention. It’s fucking scary.

    And to give you another example, these corporations that I’m talking about don’t just mess with my economy and government. These chip shortages you’re seeing, that’s the companies in my country causing them. China not exporting chips that are used for cars anymore? That’s America’s fault.





  • I mean, what do you want us to do about it? What do you think it’s like having said child rapist as your leader when you didn’t vote for him? He has his own military force running around rounding people up and killing others. The news has only just covered 2 of them. 2025 saw more deaths due to ICE than its entire history.

    It’s not the people you should point the finger at either. Do you even know the term “Gerrymandering?” Look it up. These elections are determined 16 years beforehand AND now Trump is trying to rewrite district lines so that Republicans have more districts that are even more partisan. On top of that, he’s threatening voters with violence. He’s already threatened to send military to voting stations.

    On top of all of that, I don’t care what country you’re from, America has a different political system than ANY other country in the world. I don’t think even most Americans understand this. America’s two party system is ruled by money and bribes (we call these brides “lobbying”). Basically, corporations give money or trips or items to judges and politicians to get them to do what they want. And even our 4 party leaders (imagine you have 2 parliaments - one based off of population size for your state, and another where every state gets the same number of votes) are the leaders precisely because they have the most money that can be used for campaign ads. Oh yeah, don’t get me started on insider trading of our politicians. Everything I’ve described in this paragraph is 100% legal.

    I’m not trying to tell people to not vote, but the truth is that in America, the land of the free and the land of democracy, our votes don’t matter, primarily because of the gerrymandering. So when you see Americans saying they’re fed up, don’t act like we aren’t fed up “enough.” We have people dying at protests. Our state level and local governments are looking at what happened in Iran and are waiting for Trump to do the same. He’s basically threatened it if any ICE agent dies.


  • I think Americans also hate America this much.

    Edit:

    Since there’s an asshole starting shit in these comments: for you guys outside of America, I want one thing to be clear. We do not like having Trump as president. He ran saying he’d bring down costs for poorer families, but instead has ran a straight-up terror campaign.

    The second thing is that America has a two party system. You’ve most likely heard this fact stated, but may not know what it means. America’s politics effectively give you two parties to vote for and anyone running as one of the “other parties” is wholly for posterity to take votes away from one of the two major candidates. This two party system was effectively bought by major corporations like Amazon. Corporations and “Special interest groups” (rich people) are able to lobby (bribe politicians) over-the-board to get what they want.

    The big kicker is gerrymandering: these political leaders who take “lobbying” pick and choose districts. Long-story-short: this is what really decides elections. Instead of these being “squares” of land, lawmakers divvy up their states (our states are as large as European countries in both population and land size; there are 50 not counting all the countries we occupy like Australia or territories like Puerto Rico because they don’t voter) in their own party’s interest.

    There is no way for a new party to rise like any other country in the world because they don’t ever have enough money to out market these two bigger parties. Even our 4 leaders (2 leaders per party per house and senate which are like one parliament based off of population size and one fucked up “equal” one) are chosen based on money.

    Our politicians are corrupt, and they make the rules. There is not a lot Americans can really do, especially with the president having Americans killed. ICE is a para-military force that’s killed more people in 2025 than it had in its entire history; it’s not just the two news sites are reporting. Even our state representatives and senates/houses are afraid. They’re essentially afraid of this becoming Iran.

    And a lot of Americans are prepping to flea. A lot of us have set up dual citizenships.

    It’s not great.




  • Mine was awful. I was 19. I look back at it and think that I could have been different, though. I should say she was abusive. But I also could have been more understanding and less obtuse. Would it have changed things? I wouldn’t bet money on it.

    I’d tell my 19 year old self to lighten up. The things he cares about aren’t the things that matter to me now: looks, smoking weed, even “faithfulness.” Though, the last one would in a sense. But what really matters is that she treated me like shit.


  • You did, and that’s why your comment is at the top.

    Way too long comment incoming:

    I do want to comment on this being a cultural thing. I think @ICastFist@programming.dev could be right about where this… something I learned early in college in basically Sociology 101 and Psychology 101 was to not judge other cultures based off of my/our own values because they have a different value set. Here’s the thing, these value sets that other countries have - and fuck, even America apparently - and this “value” or belief or law specifically, really aid in the abuse of children and/or women.

    For example, something we’ve seen for 40 years has been women in the Middle East (ME) standing up and dying for fair treatment. While I disagree with the use of messaging that GOP representatives are using against MEasterners this cycle - it is racist and I deplore it - this is what they are pointing to, and it is still a big problem that these women are fighting.

    We’ve seen a similar fight in Japan recently. Women pushing for higher age of consent (AoC) and stricter standards around it, too.

    This may help illustrate. I was an investigator of child abuse and ONLY investigated parents who abused their children. For this conversation, you have to understand that legal definitions and upholding them are at least partially about feasibility. For example here is how child abuse is defined and how an act meets it:

    1. Was it a child (<18 years)
    2. Does perp have Care, Custody, and Control?
    3. Was there harm (physical, emotional, or sexual) to the child?
    4. did that harm get caused purposefully?
    5. Was it NOT a part of reasonable* discipline?

    If all these are met, I could take the child and assign the case to family (not criminal) court.

    *I added “reasonable” because sexual acts can count as discipline in a defense, but it would get thrown out. And yes, that is something I came across.

    Here is the point I wanted to make:

    In the state I’m from it USED TO be that there were 2 (technically ranges) AoC. 14-17, and 17-19. Anyone under 14 was off limits, anyone between 14-17 could have sex, and while 18 was the “legal” AoC, you could “get around” this at 17 because parents can’t report crimes against the “adult,” the child (who the law technically sees as an adult) has to. I use present tense because it’s still a thing.

    On top of all of that, none of this really matters in a criminal sense. The paren could present a “no lo contesto” stating the evidence would clearly find them guilty and they don’t want to fight it. This would effectively just get the case to move on, but they wouldn’t take a “guilty” plea.

    Also, with 100% of these cases of abuse I saw and dealt with (even death), parents didn’t go to jail. One that I was privy to was Tyreke Evans breaking his baby’s legs. He’s still playing football. He essentially TEXTED the mom to take the blame by manipulating her with threats. Police had that.

    Aside: Now, I think it’s obvious since I wrote it, but what do you think the two ages of consent are?

    If you feel gross after that, that’s expected.

    My thesis statement no one is asking for at the end: I think it’s a cop out to say that “when we study another culture we cannot apply our own values.” The reason is we can study cultures, but still plainly see some things as disgusting. Like, I HATE the idea of incest in porn. I find the concept of “shota” and “loli” abhorrent. And I think it’s ok to see this all that way. Just because I see them in other cultures (even my own, really), doesn’t make them a net-neutral that we shouldn’t support the changing of.