Phantaloons

lol, told you he’d go to coomer first. You owe me $60

“But my parents can’t use a VPN!!”

Was that line in the sand drawn before or after footing the bill, installing a media server, and an entire arr stack?

Their house is right there, bro.

Good idea, Reddit.

opens redreader

the cost of doing business

My bank hands out these weird little plastic cards like it’s 2016 or something.

Trump: “So the oil is under the lithium? How does this work?”

I am weird therefore I am.

One less taken parking spot at Longhorn.

That’s my secret, Cap, I’m always outdated.

-Lineage User

Ew, Dasani?

puts it back

A good waste of taxpayer money, but at least they’ll be using his grave as an endless source for ammonia for years to come.

I’m antipedo, so we’re good.

"FOR THE LAST TIME, I am NOT a-

We’re not only animals, we’re not even the smartest ones.

Our biggest mistake is thinking the rules of nature apply to all but us. Hubris killed the human.

This round, anyway.

Republican plan (add water):

phone rings

Normal person: “Who?”

Me: “Why?”

…exactly?

You wouldn’t want to mess up your best at a Wendy’s.

Why aren’t ours?

Ironically, the first place I heard about gays was church, tho?

Streisand the Streisand.

Avoid teh gays

“teh whats?!”

They’ll all be branded heroes while his entire family and friend circle is harassed endlessly, sometimes for fun.