Beth

Mom here.

Plan B: Yes …and…!

Go to the health dept/gyno and get tested. If you haven’t had an HPV vaccine you’ve also been exposed (and exposing others). HPV can cause cancer, which develops slowly with no symptoms. Make sure you get routine paps. Get on birth control, ASAP.

And yes I’d say you have things to process, being as you’re doing this knowing it will feel bad and scary later. Therapy is expensive and all, but I’d look into why you might do things to yourself that are clearly self-sabotaging.

Feel free to send a DM.

Realized I’d dropped a cup and band size and that’s why my bras all felt terrible. New bras yay! My wallet cries, but it feels nice?

Watching people make connections.

It’s already been working like garbage lately. Wonder if this is related.

Here’s what I do: I work in a field where it’s never ending. Yesterday four people were looking for me while I had a priority. I focused on my priority and I directed them to remote ways to contact me. I put them on my calendar. I have 3 spreadsheets regarding different things to do this month, week, daily. I do my daily priorities and chip away at the spreadsheets in downtime. I never finish. I also don’t think about it for a single second after I leave the building, and I also don’t feel bad. The reason for this is being a human being, only one person, and it can wait but enjoyment and rest will not. YOLO.

Was she dating my ex-husband? He would do this to me when we went rock climbing. To the point where the people there didn’t recognize me at all even though he worked there.

It’s got an odd teletubby vibe

These keep getting more surreal lol.

I really don’t. I feel like what I consume and enjoy is a reflection of me.

I think your brain would have to rewire and maybe some heavy therapy but idk.

Just being comfortable and peaceful when nothing is evidently wrong. People taking things for granted bothers me because I can’t. Permanent fight or flight.

I recommend continuing to learn skills, trying new things, volunteering, etc. Parents seem supportive so that’s great. Just be able to support yourself independently because nothing is guaranteed. Especially how people will treat you as you get older.

Since I left Reddit, ive seen tons of diverse opinions. I’ve seen debate. I can’t understand why this wouldn’t be the case unless you’re looking to see thoughts right of center, in which case, I’m perfectly happy to never see that type of thought. It’s pervasive everywhere else.