I don’t read DMs.

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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: February 26th, 2025

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  • TrackinDaKraken@lemmy.worldtoAsk Lemmy@lemmy.world*Permanently Deleted*
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    10 days ago

    My last GF had sex with other men. I knew it. I didn’t care. Same as you, when we were together, it was just us. I knew she was careful with who she chose. I didn’t want to hear the details, but I was fine when she mentioned it off-handedly after the fact. It was no more concerning than if she’d told me she’d been to the dentist, or went shopping for a new coffee maker. What she did when I wasn’t around was irrelevant to “us”.

    When I was a teen, with my first GF, it was too easy to become jealous.

    Over time, and with more experience, I got over myself more after each relationship. By the time I was married, and in the end she had cheated on me, I was sad about losing her and what I thought our life was going to be, but the actual sex with another man didn’t bother me. Then, with my last GF, all that mattered was the time when we were together. What she did in her “free time” was her thing. I didn’t need to control her, I didn’t even want to control her in any way. Love is choosing to be with someone, love isn’t choosing NOT to be with someone else. The sooner people figure that out, the easier life is.


    1. Mondale.

    My life-long democrat parents broke ranks and voted for Reagan in 1980. I’ll never understand that.

    I’ve never voted for the right, and never will. I vote as far left as I can, believing we need to pull harder to have any hope of getting back to the middle.

    When you vote for the lesser of two evils, you’re still voting for evil to win.



  • I was married, now I’m divorced. She cheated on me. That’s just for background.

    For me, the legal marriage contract did nothing good. It just made it harder and more expensive when it was time to separate. My suggestion is (if you can find someone to go along with it) to have the ceremony, party, and honeymoon, but skip the legal contract. No one will ask to see your contract, except for the few legal reasons it matters. To everyone, and to both of you for all the reasons that matter socially, you’ll be married. Why do we need governmental sanctioning of our personal relationships?

    The contract doesn’t keep them from cheating, it doesn’t keep them from leaving, nor should anyone want that. Neither is it required for child support, that’s a separate contract that has nothing to do with marriage (or even biology, in some cases). IMO, the ideal relationship is one where you both choose, every day to spend the day with each other, until you don’t–if that should ever happen.