I see that you are an expert in literature and a connoisseur when it comes to these things.

No way this is real

Thank you!

A quality disc can last 10 years or more. At a company I used to work at the backups were burned to discs coated with gold. They had 15 year old discs that still worked.

I don’t get it.

the guy who designed it is stuck somewhere 10-20 years in the past.

Well, using containerization for everything is very 2015-ish.

that it’s very common for kids to explore their bodies and each other’s at sleep overs.

Yeah I don’t think so. I am way over 30 years old and never heard of that.

You really should not turn the oven on remotely, especially when you have kids. Also your food will definitely not be ruined because your kids leave the fridge open for a few hours. And for the dishwasher you can just set a timer.