Oh nos! EPSTEIN FILES, anyone?

“Ha ha ha, let’s throw a bucket of water on this nerd!”

“Don’t make me wet. You wouldn’t like me when I’m wet.”

“She was advised that a missing-person report could not be taken until at least 24 hours had passed,” the attorney’s statement said.

I know everyone’s delighted that this guy may have taken himself out, but he’s still innocent until proven guilty. My issue is with the cop who answered the phone. Isn’t the “gotta be gone 24 hours” thing BS from movies?

“Your civilizational country will be erasurefied by the consequentialisms of your actionables!”

“See dear? This is why we only let him eat with a spoon.”

This can in no way turn bad /s

Getting out in front of the Epstein release I see.

Trump and his cronies should rename it the “Just Us” department.

Hurr durr.

Hmm, so: “That last monkey, however, remained on the loose as of 2 p.m” AND “Wildlife and Fisheries department to help find the remaining monkeys.”

I mean, it could be that other, non-COVID/non-herpetic/non-whatever monkeys were also in the truck, but…

Trump should stand… Oh, about there, to direct the demolition. No, a little more to the right. Perfect. Close your eyes, Mr. President.

Me, too. BUT, when we read an absolutely idiotic statement from NK, we had to ask, “Wait, did the translator get that right? Nobody is that stupid, right?”

This way cuts out the middle man. Yes, they absolutely are that stupid, no question.

I wish I could upvote this more than once. The “implodes”, “loses their minds”, “in a panic” headlines are getting tiresome.

Venezuela must have a resource that Trump or one of his donors wants. Google “banana wars”.

They’re going back to the Germany of the 1930’s.

Edit: Except with Epstein files.

This. Except his timing is off - he’s starting something with the smallest local government he knows he could beat, Venezuela. He’s sending the US Navy to “sink drug traffickers” - without proof of said crime - and warning that reprisals or protection of said ships will be an act of war. And of course, wartime presidents can have a third term. Except Congress declares war, not the president. And we have to let each and every one of those MFers know we’re watching them. Any state that wants to follow California and redraw to increase Democratic seats should do so, to reduce the possibility of war.

Trump Possbility 1: “Maybe if I’m a better dictator, they’ll let me into their club!” Trump Reality: “I’ll make my own dictatorship, with pedos and sycophants! Then they’ll be sorry!”

Chop the Styrofoam into little pieces. Place in glass bottle. When the time is right, add gasoline. Now you have napalm. Rag for wick./s <-- this means I’m just kidding and you should never, ever do this or throw it at fascists.

“First wave” of files Trump said didn’t exist. And the MAGA knights feel no disturbance in The Farce.

“President Donald Trump and Congress have invalidated the Clean Air Act waivers that were the basis for California’s actions,” said Adam Gustafson, acting assistant attorney general for the Justice Department’s environment and natural resources division. “CARB must respect the democratic process.”

Democratic process? Trump and the DOJ dictating the law? Right.

Meal Team Six is pretty badass with their masks.