I’ve tried others to start my day, but nothing else quite works the same.

I just want to lick a couple more Switch cartridges fresh out the box. Is that too much to ask?

Illicit fentanyl, as opposed to the medicinal fentanyl.

I’m a little curious as to why they used a gift card and didn’t just pay with their own card. Seems a hassle to add the extra step.

Sometimes a kind soul has sprinkled Criterion releases on the shelf too!

The real number here is what percent of republicans approve. I’m clocking that at around a solid 90% to make that number.

Edit: ok, so 70% of “MAGA republicans” according to the article. But there’s “regular” republicans as well.

“Freeze!”

“No u”

pow pow pow pow pow pow

David Foster Wallace’s “Incarnations of Burned Children.”

David Foster Wallace, “Incarnations of Burned Children”

Yes, they are. For a literature class, I taught a very short story, which is expertly written, about an infant who is scalded. It’s a fantastic piece, but something I’d totally expect some people to opt out of given the content.

"What we’re doing is we’re taking a relatively small portion of that [money we made off tariffs], and we’re going to be giving and providing it to the farmers in economic assistance.“

You’ve got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the New West. You know… morons.

Joke’s on them, I’m still huffing Freon.

May he and his colleagues perpetually trade a wrathful strain of c. diff

Green? Like RADIOACTIVE? Like three mile island? Fool me twice, don’t get fooled again!

There were a couple on The Bonfire w/Big Jay Oakerson and Dan Soder that were intentionally rough for laughs. One in particular went from the checkered history of the Elks Lodge charter into a read for Boll and Branch sheets.

Fog of war, more like fog of drambuie ya beer-google motherfucker

You’d think it was like half the country given the media coverage, but nope, 25 million. Redistrict ‘em. Everyone else’s insurance goes up anyways because capitalism is the ultimate hellscape.

Make Some Noise is great if you miss the old Whose Line

We know they mostly shop at Sam’s Club anyway because Costco doesn’t build in their shitholes. Saving yourselves a 90 minute drive to own the libs.