One of my children is questioning their gender, and they seem at ease with non-binary. I found this out yesterday, so I’m approaching this gently, though I feel ill-prepared. I want to be who they need.
I’m curious about the experiences of other parents, or stories about your parents learning to adjust if you came out to them.
Follow-up: Thank you all so much for your stories and your feedback!
I’m curious what adjustments are actually needed. why would tomorrow be different from today or yesterday? you’d still be their parent. just be happy they are who they are, nothing but a few words should be different imo. I’ve never gone through this but logically thinking about it, I see no reason for you to have to act, or treat them any differently then you do today.
I would like to think that it’s as simple as acceptance, but they’re so young, they didn’t have a name for what they were feeling. They’ll have to learn about sex, gender, and attraction from us. I also have to watch out for machismo baggage, social issues at school, and signs of distress. Part of the anxiousness is also not having support systems for this; we have no one to turn to in our family.
But certainly, acceptance is the primary, paramount focus.
If you have the resources, find a therapist that specializes in gender identity. A family therapist can support you and your child. With the popularity of online therapy, it is much easier to find the specific therapist you need.
There are also tons of parents groups that can offer community and help in your journey as you learn to support your child.
It’s really special that you are reaching out and doing all you can to be the parent they need.
https://www.genderspectrum.org/support-groups
You already have all the right concerns and considerations. Just go with the flow, your kin couldn’t be in better hands
I have. Adjust seems like the wrong word.
Might as well ask, when your kid got married, how did you adjust.
If anyone is adjusting, it’s them.
It’s a stage of life. Just because some paths are not considered the default, that doesn’t make the parent involved in some unique way.
I mean, that is an adjustment because something changed.